Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Just take the time to read. Its the truth that many others live.

This is my story
In 2005, i was only 14. I was tired of having a period since i never knew when i would start, it was never regular. I decided to try the Depot-provara. The first month was fine. The next month things got worse. I felt like i was dieing. I was so scared. I went to a doctor at South uni here in Mobile. She didnt think any thing was wrong, a nurse that was there mentioned a very odd word, "endo", the doctor replied that it was impossible because only women in their 40's can have endo. She started asking me questions like "Have you or any one you know been sexually abused?", I couldnt believe it. Nothing has every happened to me like that. I was so mad. I left that doctors office and i have not been back since.

I tried toughing it out for another month, then i went to a womens & childrens clinic on springhill. My doctor like normal was not there, ( i swear it seems like she has popped out 20 babies, she is always gone because she is pregnant), so i saw a nurse. She did the exam, took a swap, and she never said any thing, but every thing was fine. She sat the swap on a tray next to me, walked out. Later her and another nurse walked in, they had 2 syringes. They made me sit on the table with my pants down a little to inject the shots in to my tights. I kept asking what was wrong, what are the shots for. She never told me she just said that i will be better soon, the shots will help me get better. She kept blowing my questions of, never answering them. I know she never sent my swap to the lab since it was next to me still. She gave me a prescription to get filled. Once i picked it up i read the info on it and it was for an STD. I remember being so sick and in so much pain.

After a few weeks my original symptoms never went away. I say another doctor, went through more crap. I finally found a doctor they knew just by my symptoms what i had. But what i didnt know what that word "endometeiosis" was going to be my nightmare. Once he told me i would have to have surgery, i broke down inside. When i was younger i never had surgery, never went to the ER, never had stitches, and never been in the hospital for my self. I did go to the doctor alot growing up, i was always sick, never knew why. After my surgery i thought thinks would be better. Turns out it was just beginning.

Since i was and am always in pain i could never really go to school, i had to drop out. After a little while i lost my friends since i couldnt hang out much. I am only left with a few friends now. I know this disease has robbed me of my teenage life. I never went to high school, never been to a dance at my school, and never went to prom. I had 2 boy friends i lost them too because of the endo. I have been single for 3 years now. Only one of my friends comes to see me. I have lost every thing people enjoy looking back on. I will grow up with only bad memories. I didint see this happening when i was growing up.

Even worse i have been told i have less then a year to have kids, or i wont be able to. I am still left in pain daily. I am not able to work, my only income is my jewelry, but i dont make much. I am happy with making enough money to donate to the ERC, to help with research for endometriosis. I know there will never be a cure while im still alive but i just want there to be a cure. I want millions of women to stop suffering. I want things to change. Life is not suppose to be this way. Now one deserves this.

I have watch the world live their life, happy, healthy, safe, and most of all painfree. I see teens having fun with their friends. I have seen lovers who have never thought things would ever change. I have even seen many take advantage of what they are given. There are people who think the worst thing that couls happen to them is their mom and dad will take their iPod away. There are so many people who die and never see the suffering. I dont understand how people can care about senseless stuff like perfect their eyeliner is, but they wont care about women who have lost so much to a screwed up disease. I know i will never be like every one else in this world. This world will be hell for me, nothing more. I dont know what our creator's plan was for me, maybe im just a game, see how much a women can be pushed to the edge with out falling. I cant take much more. I would say, "things couldnt get worse.", but i know thats a lie. It will keep getting worse. And i cant stop it.

Only millions of people can change this. But even if it was changed we would still be left with the memory of living life in pain and on edge. My story is noting compared to others. There are worse, more horrible, sad stories. You just have to open your mind to find them and listen, maybe then we will get the help we deserve.

--Gina Williams 2009

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